Families and Christmas go hand-in-hand yet there is always so much strife and tension. For such a happy season there just seems to be so much misery at home.

So yeah... Of course I'm in a bad position. I am hanging out and getting drunk with the one guy I want who also happens to be the one guy I can't have. FML

Hatred Reigns Supreme...

So it's been awhile since I've posted. Anyone who read my last commentary on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) knows how I feel about the issues regarding equal opportunity employmet for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) people.

After my diatribe about ENDA I decided to do what any concerned citizen would do and write my senators and congressmen. I got an interesting reply via e-mail that brought up some concern.

Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison's (R) office sent me what I can only assume is a generic letter containing the senator's positions on various issues facing our nation right now. In this letter, the honorable senator noted that she was against hate crimes legislation on its own merit because all violent crime should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law regardless of the motivation. This position got me thinking and so I did some research and there are many members of our legislature who claim to have at least similar positions on this issue.

Though the idea sounds good in principle, there are some obvious facts that our legislators are not thinking of when they take such a position. Hate crimes legislation has a purpose after all. Of course I agree that all violent crime should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law but the reason that hate crimes legislation exists is because it is often NOT all treated equally. How often do law enforcement officers, prosecutors, judges, and juries tend to go easier on the very acts of violence described by hate crimes legislation? The reason that those laws are being drawn up is to make certain that no backwoods justice can take place where a bigot can commit violence against a minority and get off with a slap on the wrist. Hate crimes legislation evens the playing field for minority victims of persecution. Look at the case of Matthew Shephard and how little attention was brought to the case and the leniency shown to his murderers until the motivation behind their crime was brought to the light of day and angry members of the public forced the hands of the legal system and law enforcement.

The members of congress who subscribe to such a position are using it to double-talk their way out of the issue. They are dancing around the issue at hand in order to keep the support of the right-wing who doesn't want hate crimes legislation enacted. Why, you ask? Because the right wing is the single source, motivation, energy and driving force behind the origination and continuation of hatred, bigotry, and persecution of minority groups in our nation today. Unfortunately, they have a lot of pull. Any conservative may publicly claim that all violent crimes should be punished equally but how many of them smirk and snicker behind closed doors when the guy who murdered that "faggot" got off easy? I would guess the number is very large.

The issue at hand is simply equality and fairness. All people are created equal and should be treated as such and therefore all free-thinking people should be behind this issue. Write you congressmen and senators and make them stop dancing around the matter at hand. Make them ADMIT their position and then, when we find out how closed-minded they can be or simply how spineless and unwilling to take a stand they are, we can vote them out. That is what democracy is for, after all!

Right and Right-Wing... Really?!?

Here we are in the year 2009 and still suffering from prejudice, hatred, and discrimination. The United States Congress has begun hearings regarding the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA - H.R. 2981) and already the right-wing conservative groups are out in force. Focus on the Family, an advocate of religious rights, recently sent a letter to Congress in opposition to the bill. (for the letter's text see here: 9-2-2009 Letter From Focus on the Family) I think that it might benefit the reader to peruse this document as I fully intend to tear it and its tenets to ribbons.

The right-wingers that drafted and supported this letter had something to say about religious freedom. According to Focus on the Family, because most religious faiths oppose the practice or endorsement of homosexuality or "transgenderism," the ENDA will create workplace conflict among employees because of objections to: "religious articles on employees' desks; water cooler discussions about biblical morality; Bible verses taped to cubicle walls; fliers on company bulletin boards advertising discussions concerning traditional marriage." Where in the hell do these people work? Most places that I know tend to frown on these types of displays and activities as it is. I don't think that the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) community will be the first to raise objections or dissonance to these types of activities. The first amendment protection of religious freedom extends to ALL religions, even those that DO support (or in the very least, show no opinion on) homosexuality. Do we need to take the right to work away from Catholics or Muslims just because their belief system does not coincide with the Protestants in their workplace? Don't we already have many different peoples of many different doctrines working together in the same companies? How come people from such very different backgrounds can all get along (and are indeed guaranteed equality) but giving equal rights to the LGBT community will suddenly create such a rift? Indeed, I'm sure that there are even atheists and agnostics (both of whose rights to NOT believe are protected by the same legislation that protects the believers' rights TO believe) in the workforce today. Surely the presence of those who don't even BELIEVE in God or religion creates the same form of strife that Mr. Tom Minnery, Senior V.P. of FotF is referring to. Where is the push from the lobbyists to take away THEIR equal rights as well. If Minnery is right, then each workplace should only hire employees who subscribe to the same religious belief and wouldn't THAT be the breeding ground for insight and innovation!

Our founding fathers came here seeking the freedom to believe and worship as they chose. It was for this reason that the hand of Uncle Sam was used to protect religious right, not set religious doctrine. If we allow legislation that only supports the religious right (and indeed it will eventually turn into only CERTAIN religions that are right) then we will be no better than the despotic countries who subscribe to only ONE government-sponsored belief and persecute all non-believers.

I find it humorous that FotF claims that there is no hard evidence to prove employment discrimination against the LGBT community. If discrimination was not seen to be occurring, then why in the hell would Congress be debating a law to prevent it? It's simple logic actually. Many national and international corporations have adopted their own policies on this issue in order to prevent this very thing. Why would Blue Cross, Darden Restaurants, Chase Bank, and Microsoft all have felt the need to write such policies into their employment practices if it wasn't happening? Indeed, discrimination runs rampant. To quote Mr. Minnery, "Moreover, sexual orientation and 'gender identity' should not be equated with race, color, gender or national origin. Homosexuals, bisexuals, and 'transgender' people have never been counted as 3/5 of a person, forced to drink from separate water fountains, made to ride at the back of a bus, or denied the right to vote."

While it is true that widespread discrimination has not yet reached the boiling point that caused our forebears to leave England in the first place and we have not yet hit the rock bottom of the period of slavery, one must wonder: if discrimination is not a problem, why are so many members of the LGBT community attacked, beaten, sodomized, and murdered simply for being who they are? Why would so many legislative bodies have found it necessary to enact hate crime legislation in order to protect a minority group that is not being discriminated against? Obviously, FotF is either denying that this discrimination occurs or advocating in favor of it (I certainly do hope that it is the former). Even women, when they were at their most persecuted, were not MURDERED simply for being women.

We are giving the severely conservative (and disillusioned) groups vindication if we vote down this bill. By allowing government-sponsored (for that's what it will appear to be if the legislation is vetoed) discrimination against a minority group will become acceptable once again in the United States. If we are going to go backwards in time, then why not allow discrimination against ALL minorities? Do we really want to give the Ku Klux Klan, Aryan Nation, and other supremacy groups of all types license to operate once again within our borders?

You may think that this issue is about simple employment, but look at the larger picture. It is an important precedent to set by the force of legislation that the LGBT deserves equal rights. It will be immensely destructive to the civil rights of minorities as a whole if we allow them to be denied. Our founding fathers would roll over in their graves if they heard the tenets of "religious freedom" and "civil rights" being used to back a movement to ostracize, alienate, and discriminate against an entire group of people with FULL LEGAL AUTHORITY! No one seems to remember why America was founded to begin with. I seem to remember reading something somewhere about 'all men being created equal.' I guess that we have forgotten that in this modern day and age.

I can not believe that any group would lobby AGAINST equal rights and equal employment opportunity for a group of Americans that just want to be productive citizens like everyone else. I sincerely hope that everyone is as outraged as I am and takes a moment to write their senators. If our Congress votes down a bill to protect the employment rights of a portion of the American population, it will definitely be a step in the OPPOSITE direction of equality. How can we continue to be a champion of democracy and a beacon of freedom to the world if we allow prejudice, fear, hatred and bigotry to write our legislation for us? How can America continue to be the land of the free and the home of the brave if large sections of our population are, once again in our history, categorically denied basic civil rights? Voting against ENDA-type policies will send the message that "liberty and justice for all" is no longer available in America! I'm not asking for major changes in life, I'm just asking that our Congress considers the matter and votes on the side of freedom; not freedom for one group, but freedom for all!

Write your Senators... I did... Contact US Senators

Pain in Living Color

There are so many different kinds of pain. It comes in more variety than the colors of the rainbow. How can one begin to define something that comes in such varied forms?

Physical pain is something that we are all familiar with. In our lives, it's the Pavlovian negative reinforcement by which we learn self-preservation. When a child places its hand on a hot pan, the pain of the experience teaches the child not to repeat that action. Physical pain is our signal that we are either doing something wrong or dangerous or that something is wrong with our bodies. Something I heard once comes to mind when I think of physical pain: what does the doctor say if you tell him that "it hurts when I do this"? He says, "then don't do that anymore." The simple and nearly immediate impulses firing across the synapses of our nervous system make the sensation that is pain into a very real and tangible feeling. It is something that can be measured and quantified because there is always something to compare the suffering of the moment to.

Emotional pain, however, is much less easily identified, though it, too, tends to play an important role in all of our lives. This is where the cut-and-dried "it hurts" tends to fade into the vast ambiguity of the undefinable. Anyone can easily tell you what hurts, where it hurts, or how badly it hurts when they are suffering physically, but when it comes to defining that mysterious pain of the heart (or the elusive and oft-debated soul) most people are at a loss. So many of our experiences are coloured by the brush strokes of our inner pain that it makes for an almost kaleidoscopic view of our lives.

There are so many sources of pain; it arises from loves lost, the finality of death, friendships forgotten, or failure to complete a goal. It can rear its ugly head even in the best of times in our existence. Often times the things (and people) we love the best have the power to hurt us the most. In the world of man, one person's pain is often another person's pleasure. Such a relative thing is so hard to define, almost impossible to quantify, and definitely impossible to avoid. We all cause and feel pain all of the time and it is this pain that makes us who we are.

Surely, some of us deal with it better than others. Some of us have the ability to turn our pain to good use, making the best of every bad situation. Some of us take our own internal suffering out on those around us, spreading it like a virus through the people that we come into contact with. Then there are those of us (like me) who tend to bottle up what hurts. It might be easy to put things into words when no one knows the author, but when it comes to actually dealing with something that hurts so badly, we clam up. We bury our hurt and our sorrow deep inside so that (we think) it can't hurt us or anyone else by rearing its ugly head.

Of course hiding from the pain doesn't do any good. It's still there, it's still real, it still marks everything that we do, and it just builds and festers inside of us, growing like a virus that infects every part of our lives. How do you recover from that? How can you strip the colors of your pain from the canvas of your life and start painting anew? The problem is that first and foremost, you have to categorize your pain and that's the hardest part of all. When it comes to that difficult task, I think I'm too scarred to find a place to start. That's what happens when you feel too much, get too involved, and hide your hurt... you become jaded, cynical, and broken beyond repair. Life turns into a Van Gogh watercolor, beautiful and distressed...

Taking the High Road... Fucking Friendships...

"I took the high road. I did not intervene. I hurt my friend. He felt and he hurt and he learned a lesson but I didn't make it any better. What kind of friend am I? I hurt him because I didn't save him."

This was the thought going through my mind at 3:30 this morning. This was the rut that I dug myself into as I listened to my friend pour out his heart about his last relationship. This was the thing that was eating at my soul while my friend cried and talked about his pain.

Friendships fucking suck. It sucks to be friends with someone when you know things that will hurt them. It sucks to be friends with TWO people when you know things about each of them that will disillusion the other and infringe on the happiness of either of them. It's just really fucking hard to care about people.

There are so many problems with knowing things; so many things wrong with knowledge of someone else's business. I hate when people tell me things. I really can't stand when someone confides in me if only because I never know what to do. Common decency says that one should never go around blabbing the business (whether "secret" or otherwise) of another person to the world. What do you do when you are under the teary-eyed gaze of the person that those things hurt though? How do you deal with that? Moreover, how do you deal with the fact that, had you been more forthcoming with the information that is not yours to give out, you may have been able to prevent the tears and forego the pain? What do you do when, through inaction, you are somewhat at fault?

That's why I have such a hard time having friends. I confide in no one and I really don't like when others confide in me. True friends require trust and the sharing of information and I avoid that like the plague. It's much easier just to stay out of everyone else's business and keep my hands off of everyone else's lives. I don't want to play chess with other people's hearts. No one ever seems to win that game.

Why do we make our friends suffer so? No, I'm not talking about making them suffer by keeping things from them; I'm talking about making them suffer by TELLING them shit to begin with! We have no right to put other people in the position to make such a difficult decision. Think about the problem for a moment: cause pain by remaining loyal to a friend (or one friend if you are close to everyone involved) or cause pain by spilling your guts at the first sign of tension. When is it appropriate to tell? When is it necessary to give out information and what reasons justify such action? It's a hellish conundrum with no real answer and any decision that is made results in the suffering of someone (or everyone) involved.

That's why friendships suck. Just don't tell me shit that you don't want everyone to know because, from now on, to avoid any conflict, I'm an open book. The new disclaimer on my life is going to be: "If you tell me something, I will probably write a fucking blog about it and EVERYONE will know. No more keeping other people's dirty little secrets."

Finding Your Fear

Everything we do, every day of our lives, stems from our natural (and sometimes unnatural) fears. Fear is the basis of functionality for life. How we deal with our fears is what separates man from beast and mature men from the unenlightened.

Suppose that you are out for a night on the town. You've got your best girl (or guy) on your arm and someone starts to show some over-the-top (and probably unwanted) attention to your mate. Jealousy often rears its ugly head and we blame the green-eyed monster for our possessive reaction but we should delve a little deeper into the cause of our anger and unease at the situation. Why do we get jealous? A secondary emotion, jealousy is triggered by a more sinister master - fear. The fear of losing something (or someone) precious to us against our will causes the reaction when someone else shows too much attention to our loved ones. Without that seed of fear, jealousy would never spring into the picture.

Imagine that you are crossing the street at a busy intersection. Caution, which we attribute to our intelligence and our ability to reason, prohibits most of us from just bolting into traffic, dodging one car after another. Once again, we are placing too much credit on the wrong instinct. What makes us cautious? Why do we look both ways before crossing the street or check the water depth in the pool before diving in head first? Our ability to reason isn't at the core of our desire to show caution. Once again, the culprit is fear; a deep-seated fear of injury to ourselves spawns our careful actions. Without the dark touch of fear, caution often goes to the wind.

Fear does so much for us. It helps to remind us to think before we act. It sparks a whole serious of emotions and instigates trains of rational thought that, we hope, keep us safe from harm and far from trouble. Horror movies and thrillers take full advantage of the power of fear. The adrenaline rush brought on by fear is big business in Hollywood and even this use of the most primal of emotions for profit has something to teach us. As time goes on and the terror genre gets deeper and darker, we learn that the more realistic the situation, the more intense the reaction of our fear. No longer are the movie monsters of our pasts sufficient to draw out the response of fear. Michael Myers may still elicit a shock when he pops up alive for the thousandth time but the fear reaction is subdued - there is no danger there. Now we reach to new heights to activate our response and intensify our experience. The movie monsters of today are serial killers and sadistic murderers and pictures of men and societies gone horribly wrong. Will these, too, one day lose their power over us?

Why is fear such a driving force in our lives? Why does it have so much power over us? Why is one simple primal instinct at the heart of everything we do? Think back on human history, long before the advent of advanced cultures. Mankind has three basic needs (simplified from earlier versions): food, shelter (the need for clothing is often included in the need for shelter), and companionship (including both the social and sex instincts of man). Yet even at the deepest roots of these most simple of necessities is the heavy hand of our fear. It is the fear of suffering in the elements that makes us seek shelter; the fear of starvation that sends us searching for food; the fear of loneliness and the end of our species that causes us to seek out others like us. Everything that we do, as individuals and as societies, can be traced back to the guiding force of our ever-present fears.

The trick is not to let our fears overwhelm us. Of course our fear is essential to our lives, if not it wouldn't have such power over us. We just have to remember that, though our baser fears sow the seeds for our thoughts, reactions, and emotions, they are not meant to control us. They serve their purpose most effectively if we let them ignite the flame of reason but not overpower it. Otherwise, we would be no better than the lower mammals, living on pure instinct and falling victim to the power of our fears.

Who is this God person anyway?

***DISCLAIMER: If you are incredibly sensitive about religion, God, or matters of faith then the following may or may not offend you. Everyone has the right to believe what they choose and this is just one small part of what I believe about God (as I understand Him).***

So many different opinions exist regarding God. It is a matter of fact that the vastly diverse systems of religious belief in the wide variety of deities worshipped around the world throughout human history has been the single source of disagreements that have resulted in more and bloodier wars than anything else in our society. No mere economic or political conflict can hold a candle to the horrific chaos that results from dogmatic differences when it comes to religious beliefs.

There is an interesting quote that I would like to use as a basis for the diatribe to come. It comes from the song entitled Dear God by Sarah McLachlan and is as follows... "Did you (referring to God) make mankind, after we made you... and the devil, too?"

Before anyone gets their feathers too ruffled, I should explain something very simple. I have no problem with God or a belief in Him. I personally believe and feel that I have a close connection to this supremely spiritual being. There is, however, and important distinction that should be made. God (as you choose to understand Him) is an integral part in every religious belief, but religion is NOT necessary to maintain faith in God. Something that we all tend to forget is that, just as the various civilizations rise in power, prosper for a time, and then crumble into ashes only to be replaced by new social groupings, the various religions of the world, throughout history, do the exact same thing. It is the nature of anything that is created by man that it must only be temporary.

You are now probably just burning with fury at the insinuation that religion was created by man and, therefore, can not be an agent of God. Think on this for a moment - just a few thousand years ago (not terribly long in the grand scheme of history), the known world was ruled by the ancient empires of Rome and, before that, Egypt. In other parts of the world, the dominant cultures were those of the Native Americans (the Maya, Incas, and Aztecs to name a few) and before any of these were ever even thought of the ancient Sumerians and other groups had control. The thing that is most pertinent about the rise and fall of all of these prominent cultures (and the others like them) is that, long before any of our modern beliefs in God (or any derivation thereof) were even conceived of (let alone preached from pulpits to the sheeplike masses) these cultures retained their VERY OWN systems of belief that were all unique and were all entirely unlike the major belief systems as ascribed to today. That means that the religious dogmas of today must have been created long after the creation of man.

There is a point to the history lesson above and that is this - if God made religion then why are all religions NOT the same and why do the "right" religions of our time (for every culture that believes also believes that IT is the only one that has it right) not date back to the beginning of human history? One would infer that, if God had created religion for us, He would have created it when He created us, yet this is not the case.

We can, therefore, deduce that organized religion, in all of its various forms throughout human history, is a product of the minds of men. Furthermore (and here is the kicker) one might draw the conclusion that, as all organized religions are man-made belief systems centering on a variety of different and unique deities (yes there are still some polytheistic cultures in the world) then the particular deities at the center of each individual dogma must also be creations of mankind.

This is not to say that God does not exist. I am actually quite certain that God (of my understanding, for I think that everyone has their own unique relationship with the higher power, spiritual creator, or whatever one might choose to call the supreme being) does, in actual fact, exist. I am also quite convinced that He is NOTHING like what we have made him to be. Man, after all, has the tendency to use organizations and groups as a means of controlling other men. This is simple fact. That is why, therefore, all religions, and indeed all of the different gods (I will no longer capitalize when referring to man-made gods), reflect the characteristics that the leading groups of people responsible for their creations chose for them to reflect. That is the reason that all of the many different gods are simply so very different!

Now that I am quite certain that I have offended all of the religious believers in the world, I might as well go ahead and finish the job with a final declaration: though some of the ideas of the many different belief systems are inherently good, for the most part the creators and leaders of the religions of man are LYING TO YOU! The lies are descendents of those perpetrated generations ago in order to make groups of people succumb to the will of those either in power or who wished to be in power. Religion, as made by man, is a FRAUD!

For those of you who are faithful (I use this term to refer to the very small number of people who have faith in something more without following a man-made dogma like cattle) I hold out hope. I know that, as non-traditional believers who do not subscribe to any religion in particular, we are, therefore the most persecuted of all. We are often called atheists, though that is a different group entirely. As agnostics (those who believe in a higher power but feel that organized religion is unnecessary) we are condemned and slandered by ALL of the other, more powerful groups (including, as it were, the atheists)! There is a shining light at the end of the tunnel though for those of us who are faithful and choose to persevere, knowing that there is something more to believe in than that which was just conceived by the powerful upper echilon. Like all of the other dogmatic beliefs in human history, even those that are currently in power will, eventually, either evolve and change with the times or one day fade away into the dim light of history. Luckily for us, we will still have the God of our understanding even as all of those organized beliefs preached from the various pulpits of the world wither away.

Letter To My Lost Friend...

To our dearly departed friend,

I want you to know how much everyone misses you. It has been hard for all of us since you left. I saw your mom a short time ago and she seems to be doing better but of course, she’s still not her old self. Monday night classes are just not the same without you. It’s really awful not to be able to hear you laugh at everyone's comments or our teacher's jokes. I don’t really have anyone to go eat with afterward or watch the new movies I want to see. That was kind of our thing, you know, and I’m trying to figure out how to go on doing that stuff with you gone. I don’t understand why you left us but I’m sure that you had your reasons. I don’t know why you couldn’t talk to me about them – we talked about everything else. I wish I could have been there to help you but I wasn’t and that kind of makes me feel partially responsible. I feel like I failed you as a friend and I just wish I know what I could have done to make things better for you. I know that I can’t change things but I still want to. I at least want to learn what mistakes I made so that I don’t make them again. I can’t bear to let anyone else down like that. I really do wish I could have been there for you. I think about you every day and wonder “what if?” I don’t like the way this feels.

It was so unfair for you to do this to us, you know. We had no warning, no way of knowing anything was wrong. You didn’t let anyone in – didn’t tell anyone what was going on. That hurts so much. How can I get over something that I don’t understand? I cry sometimes when I think about you. That part really sucks. I want to think of the happy memories that I have of time we spent together. It just bothers me because as much as I want to remember the good times, it hurts so much that you’re gone. I cry and then I’m angry. I’m angry with you for leaving. I’m angry with you for the way you made us all feel. I’m angry with you for making everyone cry, for hurting us so badly. The problem is that I don’t want to be angry with you. I don’t want to feel this way and it hurts me even more that I can’t let it go. It’s not fair for me to be mad that you’re gone. You did what you felt you had to do so what right do I have to be mad at you for a decision you made about your own life? You decided it was time to go so you left.

I still miss you every day. I still smile at your memory, even after I cry, sometimes through the tears. I think everyone feels the same way. I don’t understand why you are gone but it doesn’t really matter because you are and that is something that is set in stone. I want you to be back here, with us, but that will never happen and so all I can do is laugh and cry and be angry all at once. I hate feeling this way. You know how much I try to control what I think and what I feel. I will always remember you and the good times that we had, I just want to try and forget the bad stuff and I guess that just takes time. I just want it to get easier and I’m afraid that all of my memories will stay tainted by my own anger and pain at the circumstances. I don’t want it to be this way anymore.

Know that I will think about you always, my dear departed friend…

Please pay attention - our menu options have changed...

I'm so tired of things being done the way they always have been. Change is a good thing. We do it all the time as we move through life from birth to death, but somehow we are still so very averse to something so common.

Humanity, as a whole, is static. Our civilization seems to be stuck in a rut so deep that there is simply no way to get out of it. Why do we allow that to happen? How can our society function with antiquated laws, outdated sensibilities, and outmoded belief systems? Our country, as the most advanced and industrialized nation in the world, has fallen behind the rest of mankind. We are, all at once, the most closed-minded, backward-thinking, and conservative nation in existence.

The problem isn't inherent to the entire population of America. So many of us have changed with the times. Many of us have learned to cope with the changing times and adapt to the demands of the ever-more-modern world in which we live. The problem, however, is with the rulers of our country.

Our government seems to base its policies and beliefs on a number of fallacies that continue to hold our society back from the advances of the rest of the world. Our nation, founded on the premise of religious freedom, is now governed by a group of right-wing conservatives who love to live in the past and hold us to the dated and stringent system of morality of some of our more puritanical forefathers.

Have you ever wondered why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? Ever noticed how our government is in debt but those that govern are wealthy? The reason is that the static hand of the conservative continues to reach deeper in the pockets of a continually evolving populus. There is money to be made in keeping the American people in a kind of moral straight jacket. We want to grow with the rest of humanity and change with the times but we just can't. When did our desire for self-government grant the governing body the right to legislate morality? When did the private behaviors of two consenting adults become a matter for politicians and judges? Who gave Uncle Sam the right to tell us what we can and cannot do in our own homes? I don't advocate anarchy, but one of the basic principles of our right to the pursuit of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is that, as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others, then we can achieve that inalienable right however we choose. Unfortunately, our government doesn't seem to agree.

That is why our freedoms get taken away from us. Smoking is governed by ever-more-strict legislation as tobacco is taxed more every day. Gay marriage is banned in more states and localities all the time while unhappy heterosexuals clog our court system with divorce proceedings. Alcohol takes the lives of both the drinker and their innocent sober victims while smoking one single joint has proven medically harmless, doesn't cause accidents, and can still send you to prison. So many things need to change and yet the vast majority of Americans are held so tight by their political overseers that they are afraid to speak out any longer. It's a vicious cycle in which more and more of our freedoms are lost every single day of our lives.

How come the bank's automated system can change its options but the most powerful nation in the world is stuck in a downward spiral dragging it more and more into a very real, if unspoken, despotism? The powerful have too much power and we need to remind them that we are a democratic republic. It is time for us to remember how to use our voice.

Coloring outside of the lines...

Some rules were made to be broken; some molds were meant to be cracked and some patterns were meant to be discarded. Why are people so afraid of things that are different?

Everyone is so stuck in what is "supposed to be." Even those people who dare to think and live outside of the box still seem to be conforming to some sort of invisible standard. Of course there are the basic rules, governing behaviors from a legal standpoint. Those rules definitely have their place in human society. After all, we are all entitled to the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, so long as our rights don't infringe on the rights of another. That is, of course, what the laws of our government are meant to prevent. As a people, as we often do, we sometimes take things a little too far. There are too many rules taking away rights to count. There are too many laws stripping us of our basic freedoms and individualities to number. That is the nature of giving men power over others - they USE it!

I digress, for that is the subject for another time and there is something far more meaningful on my mind tonight. I'm stuck on something that has been bothering me for a long time and, for anyone who knows me, is something I've always talked about. I'm talking about the living, breathing stereotypes of our world. I'm referring to the many "posers" (to use outdated verbiage) that we live with every day of our lives.

Everyone is guilty of the sin of fitting in to some degree or other but I think that the disenfranchised minorities are sometimes the worst. There are so many minority groups that are hated by the ruling majority. Those groups of people who just don't fit the "norm" of the rest of society are both despised and feared by the rest of the populace. So much of this problem stems from our own actions, however. As a member of a minority, I can honestly say this - there is nothing wrong with being proud of your race/creed/color/religion. There is nothing wrong with being different because of your membership in one minority group or another. There is, however, something inherently wrong with behaving a certain way because THAT is what is expected of your minority group!

I live life as a gay man. I am proud of that fact and it's not something I hide but it does NOT govern my behaviors. I do not choose to act a certain way because that's how homosexuals are supposed to act. Those mannerisms and actions do nothing more than perpetuate the very reasons that the majority dislikes our group to begin with. I simply try to live my life as ME because the fact that I am gay is only one SMALL part of my entire being! I think that this problem stems across to ALL minorities, social groups, and other man-made forms and patterns that we, as people, are supposed to conform to (and spend most of our finite lives trying to do just that). It does no good to be different and unique if you simply try to do so in exactly the same way that someone else does! There is nothing to be proud of if your defining characteristics (the things that make you into you to begin with) are the same as everyone else like you.

Of course we have free speech and all, but I'm going to try and make this as painless as possible. I'm not saying we should be ashamed of who we are. I'm simply saying we should actually try being who we are! Why do we feel that, even as we try to be different, we have to fit into the sameness of some group of nonconformists? Why must we succumb to the will of the group and all behave like so many sheep in the pasture? Didn't anyone ever try coloring outside of the lines? There's always something new and different to explore outside of the box so why spend so much time trying to fit in?

Terminally Single

Relationships are too fucking hard. It always seems like, at least for me, that they seem to follow the same pattern.

You meet someone nice, someone who seems like your ideal. The two of you start talking, dating, spending time together, and just getting to know each other in general. Eventually, you are in a "relationship" with each other. Things seem to progress well until the bomb drops. The person that you are with, that you know so well, is not really even the person that you thought they were to begin with!

I should point out at this point that it isn't really a bomb going off. If it were, I think that we would catch on a little bit faster. It never really happens that way. Instead, it's a combination of little things. Little actions, statements, and behaviors that let us know that the person that we thought we knew has become (or has always been) someone else. It's a fact of life I think.

People grow and people change and, unfortunately, people often grow apart. It's hell being with someone and waking up one day, putting the pieces together, and realizing that they are no longer the person that you want to be with. Of course, in all reality, you are probably a different person too.

That is always true for me. I have been cheated on so many times in my life and I always wonder why. I think it's because no one really knows who they want to be with. Everyone wants to meet "the one" but what if that person really doesn't exist? Even when we think we've met our soulmate, it's just a matter of time before we realize that we were wrong. How do you deal with that?

Maybe I'm too picky, but I just refuse to settle for less. That's why, at least in my humble opinion, I think I am terminally single. I want to find the exact right person for me. I have had too many bad relationships to want to go through it again. No, I know that no couple is perfect but there has to be a balance of more good times than bad times, doesn't there? I want to find the person who will watch television with me, read the newspaper while I read a book, or go to a good movie, all just to spend time with me. I want to find the person that will call me just to say hello or tell me that he loves me just in case he hasn't that day. I want to meet someone who will tell me how beautiful I am whether I'm dressed to the nines or wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. I need to find someone who appreciates my good qualities and still loves me in spite of my flaws. The problem is, I'm afraid that person doesn't exist.

In this life we all look for happiness. We all want to find that special someone who doesn't just want to be with us but who actually FITS with us. We all want to find a partner but no one wants to make the sacrifices. I'm ready for something permanent, but I just can't find anyone who is ready for me. So it is that I am terminally single...

When did we fall off of the evolutionary ladder?

So this is my first post on this site. My friends felt that my blog needed a new venue and so I feel the need to say a few things before I get into the meat of what I want to talk about tonight.
First - I write the things that come to mind. I don't plan out much more than a basic topic and I don't do a lot of proofreading. I think that shooting from the hip, to use the turn of phrase, is the best way to get an honest opinion out of anyone and I am nothing but honest to a fault.
Second - Sometimes the things I write about may strike a chord with others, sometimes they may seem unimportant and inane. I can assure you, the reader, of two things: (1) if I write about it, it is important enough to me, at least at that moment in life, to spend time on and (2) I encourage feedback. I think opinions mean nothing if not shared and compared and we learn how our views fit into the world by learning what others think of them. Please comment, follow, and recommend this blog if you like my peculiar form of socio-political commentary on life.

Those things being said, let's get right down to the heart of the matter today. Isn't mankind supposed to be at the top of the evolutionary ladder? Seriously, the human race, no matter how you slice it, is supposed to be the most advanced species on the planet. Whether you subscribe to one of the many creation theories or to Darwinism, we, as men (and women), are thought to be the sentient creatures sitting at the the pinnacle of the pyramid of life on earth.

We have free will and free thought and all of the wonders that come along with those freedoms. We, as a species, developed speech and the ability to communicate with others of our kind through not only the spoken word but through literature, music, and art. We have created technological advances that have allowed us to build bigger, better, and larger throughout our history. Our civilization now has the ability to harvest the world around us and mold, adapt, and change the planet on which we live to suit our needs and serve the purpose of our advancement.

The many "lower" life forms on the planet Earth do not do any of this. Sure, they build their nests and make their homes in the environment around them but they do little to actually change the world significantly. The other living things on this planet fit neatly into what are called their ecological niches. That means that, as long as things run their natural course (without interference from an outside source), thse creatures can live out their lives for more generations than the human race has even existed without leaving so much as a smudge on the cheek of Mother Nature. Some of these animals have varying levels of sentience, to be sure, but they have nowhere near the strength of will that exists in the family of man. They still must succumb to their baser instincts and fit in to the great circle of life.

So we are to be commended, right? I mean, shouldn't we be thrilled with all of our exploits? In the relatively short history of humanity (and even the creationists can't argue that the period of time that man has been on Earth is a mere blip on the vast cosmic timeline) we have managed to spread out and seed the entire planet, changing every corner of the globe to fit our needs. Unlike the rest of the animal kingdom, we do not adapt to the environment in which we live. Instead, we pride ourselves on our ability to make the environment adapt to us. We are even branching out into space.

There is an interesting fact here worth mentioning, I believe. We are so very different from the rest of life on Earth. In fact, there is only one other organism on the planet with which we can compare our incredible ability to proliferate around the world. The only other living thing that compares to the human race is so small that some even doubt that it is alive, though it most certainly possesses incredible intelligence and adaptability. I am talking about the virus.

Viruses are much like people (or we are like them, who can say?). A virus can adapt to almost any host so that it can find a nice home to move into. Once it takes up residence, it begins to reproduce on such a scale as to fill its new home with copies of itself as quickly as possible. In the process, it takes from its surroundings, molding and shaping the very materials that sustain it in order to assist in its unrelenting drive to reproduce and populate. Of course, that is what makes us sick. Most organisms live in a symbiotic relationship with their host (whether that host is another organism or a planet) but viruses do damage to their hosts in order to facilitate their own growth and survival. In the end, if left unchecked, the virus destroys the host, effectively destroying itself as well.

Doesn't that sound familiar? We, as a species, continue to clear-cut forests, strip mine mountains, and hunt or fish other animals to extinction without regard for the effect of their loss on the ecology. We pollute our own water supply and fill the very air that we breathe with noxious chemicals. We do all of these things in the name of progress and for the advancement and continuation of our species. Sounds to me like Mother Earth might be infected with something nasty - antibiotics anyone?

If we are nothing more than a mere disease then that makes us no better than the very lowest of life forms on the planet. We can't even live in harmony with the world around us. Our ecological footprints are the tracks of bulldozers and oil wells bleeding the very ground beneath us dry. We are sucking the life out of our own planet as we speak. I'm so very fucking proud of the advancements we've made.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a crazy eco-freak. I just believe in harmony and we have gone FAR beyond that. Just like the very viruses that wreak havoc on us in their desire to procreate without thought or concern for resources for future generations, we take and take without regard for what might happen in years to come. One day, our host will die.

I think I've rambled on for long enough. I'm actually starting to disgust myself. I take pride in the few people who are trying to change our ways, I'm just afraid that with over eight billion people in the world the damage might be done. It might be too little too late.

I can't bring myself to take pride in the so-called superiority of the human race. I actually doubt that we are superior to anything else on the planet. As a matter of fact, I'm certain that we are wrong in our declaration of our own self-worth. I'll close with a thought from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. I paraphrase:
Man and dolphins got into an argument over who was the most advanced species to have evolved on Earth. Man thought that they were superior because they had created civilization, language and technology. They had created art and music and war. They made industry and architecture and weapons and all the dolphins did was screw around and play all day long. Of course the dolphins thought that they were the superior beings for EXACTLY the same reasons!